Officer Beckins was on his very first day, of his very first shift this side of Police academy. At the age of nineteen he was pretty anxious to make a great impression, be stern, administer justice, and do a bunch of cool stuff all while looking totally cool in his new uniform. Today his partner was none other then roughshod Randel the thirty year vet who had seen everything from runaway kittens, who were most likely still in the house, to full blown riots, and he didn’t much care for rookies.

“Listen here bronze,” Officer Randel said as officer Beckins entered “their” patrol car,” I am going to shoot straight with you. I don’t like you.”

“Okay?” Officer Beckins questioned.

“Let me finish.” Officer Randel said. “That’s another thing with your generation, you’re always jumping over people to feel important, makes me sick. Now, do what I tell you to do, don’t get all hot under the collar running after every woman that bats an eyelash at you, and jump at every call coming over the radio, because most of the time those are taken by every bronze cop like you trying to make himself larger in his mind than it could possibly contain. Got it?”

“Okay… one question?” Officer Beckins asked.

“Proceed, but watch it.” Officer Randel warned.

“Why do you call me bronze?”

“Because you’re not a silver medal, and you’re sure as heck not a gold medal. Now lets get going… bronze.” Officer Randel said leaving Beckins with a puzzled look on his face wondering what kind of life this man must’ve led to bring him to such a state of mind.

The two traveled, slowly at first until corrected to give the peddle a little hug now and again, downtown to the most populated traffic areas searching for anything that might seem out of place. While driving along a call came out over his radio that shocked Officer Beckins back to a subject he hadn’t learned all that well in academy which were the 10 codes.

“City to 199, City to 199.” called the dispatcher over the radio.

“Well answer them bronze boy.” Officer Randel groaned as Officer Beckins was raising the radio to his mouth and looked puzzled again at his partner before speaking.

“Go for 199” Officer Beckins replied.

“We have a 10-70 on the corner of fourth street and main, a 10-70 on the corner of fourth street and main.”

“10-70?” Officer Beckins tried to recall before responding. “10-4 we are 10-54 to that stolen monkey on the corner of fourth street and main.”

“What the heck did you just say?” Officer Randel said with a new shade of red appearing on his wrinkled face. “Do you even know what a 10-70 is?”

“A stolen monkey from a Philippino zoo?” Officer Beckins answered.

“Why on earth would we have a 10 code for a monkey stolen out of a Phillipino zoo, and of all place why the Philippines?”

“I’m sure it’s happened before somewhere.”

“Yeah, in the Philippines!” Officer Randel reasoned. “Now for you information a 10-70 is a fire alarm.”

“What are we the fire department?” Officer Beckins argued. “Why should we do their job for them when they’re probably terrorists just waiting to-”

“Let me stop you right there bronze, because you’re starting to give me a headache. First, this is your first day,  so you can start to whine and complain after twenty or thirty years but I recommend you don’t, ever, start that. Second, we are all apart of the same team and that team includes the fire babies.”

“Uh, 199? So, are you 10-84 to the 10-70?” the Dispatch called over the radio.

“10-4 we are 10-96 to the Mercury planetary alignment in progress that can be witnessed on the corner of fourth and main as we speak.”

“STOP THE CAR!” Officer Randel demanded and the car came to a screeching halt.

“What?” Officer Beckins asked in a rush to un-buckle and meet Officer Randel who was already out of the car and in a huff.

“What is a 10-84?” Officer Randel spit.

“A planetary alignment currently visible from earth.” Officer Beckins said

“And what, again, is a 10-70?”

“Oh, well usually that’s a lost Himalayan goatman, but since it was used in conjunction with the 10-84 the 10-70 was just specifying which planet was at the head of the alignment.” Officer Beckins said confidently.

“Why would we ever have 10 codes for any of those things? A Himalayan goatman? What the heck is that?”

“It’s an ancient folklore spread through the generations-”

“Geez, nevermind. How about this, since I’ve already explained that a 10-70 is a FIRE ALARM and not a cosmic apparition  why don’t you let me make the calls on the radio. Just for today, or until I retire early.”

“Uh, 10-4.” Officer Beckins joked with a fake punch to Officer Randels’ arm.

“Well, atleast you go that one right.” Officer Randel fumed as he got back into the vehicle. “111 City we are 10-84 to the 10-70.”

“10-4, oh and 111 you should tell your partner that he should brush up on his 10 codes.”

“10-4” Officer Randel said.

After the fire alarm call the two decided to get some “dogs” from a vendor along main street. While standing in line a man wearing a long leather coat snatched the purse of a woman on the sidewalk opposite of the two Officers. Beckins took off running in the direction of the perpetrator, as Randel huffed and puffed behind him.

“199 City” Beckins spoke on his radio.

“Go ahead 199.”

“We have a 10-54 in progress! Send a 10-100, and a 10-78 immediately!”

“199 let me get this straight you have a livestock on highway in progress and we should notify the coroners?”

“No! I have a large male alien who has stolen a purse with the statue of liberty hidden inside of it, and we need back up right now or else the Nazis are going to win!”

Three excruciating days later Officer Beckins was “promoted” to a jailer.

No one in this fake story are real.

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