Dump Town Tales:
The Two Presidents.
By: Jeremiah Cayne Francis Knight 1st.
Chapter One: Exile.
“This is sooooo not cool, bro.” President Icedawg a neon pink Furby toy says held up at spear point on the edge of the territory known as Dump Town.
“Be quiet!” A fiercely angry looking red Furby says holding the spear to Icedawg’s back. “This is all your fault! And without you here in the village we would be ready for all threats from the world around us.”
“What threats are you talking about Jerkface?” Icedawg asks completely bewildered. “We live in a sweet place full of batteries to eat and green juice to drink. In relative peace-“
“Relative PEACE?” Jerkface almost explodes as his tiny fury body shakes. “We are surrounded by wild squirrels that treat us like afternoon play things, there was the snake revolt of 2012 but how could you remember that since you were taking a nap, and the Huge Hairy Furby comes by every once and a while to steal one of us into the trees never to be heard from again. Just as I thought, you are completely oblivious!”
“Oblivi-whats?” Icedawg said trying to stay awake when a well place jab from the spear woke him right up. “You can’t just kick me out because you don’t like me… its against the rules, bro.”
“Oh, I more than just don’t like you, I hate you! You are weak, and pink- PINK! You lead us and you are the weakest of colors, and I’m just going to put up with that anymore. I’m in charge now, and I say you go into exile. Maybe out there your uselessness will serve a purpose after all.”
“What about all the Furbies’s that voted for me? I am the President. What about the tribe?” Icedawd said as he looked back to the multiple shining holes built into the heaps of garbage surrounded by the unnatural barrier of a glowing green river that is Dump Town.
“Because of you we have a mandatory naptime, almost no taxes at all, people are allowed to work, or not, as best suits their mood. That is lazy and PINK! I will not tolerate it! They chose you because they think you’re cool. What kind of society can live like that? I don’t’ know, but it won’t be ours! I will build a wall around Dump Town and from here on out rename it JERK TOWN where no one is allowed to come in or leave—unless I exile them ofcourse.”
“But what about me?” Icedawg asked worriedly.
“Hopefully the Huge Hairy Furby will make you it’s dinner.” Jerkface said as he prodded Icedawg over the sloping hill of Dump Town and into the Trees.
Chapter Two: The Trees
As far as the eye could see up, or any direction there was trees. Paths cut here and there far larger than any Furby would possibly need but it always seemed to Icedawg that the Furby’s weren’t meant for such large spaces. Sure, Icedawg wasn’t an overly religious Furby but the Green Priests had this belief that they were made to be loved by their creators, whatever those giant creatures could be.
Icedawg walked a little faster than normal through these dark woods with the only light being from the passing clearings where the moon added its brightness; however these were few and far between. Howls of large murder dogs, and the hoots of fat birds added to the heightening freight of this dismal situation, but why did it happen in the first place?
Icedawg was one of the first to realize his own existence will laying in the green river, also known as “The Green”. He had long since discovered his full range of preprogrammed words and was moving on autopilot as he stumbled into the glowing water and a few days later was able to think for himself. Icedawg met other Furby’s like him and they decided together to get every Furby still in their crates and boxes and put them in “The Green”.
After some days of putting Furby’s into “The Green” they decided to make a town built out of the rubble they found themselves in which they named Dump Town. Icedawg didn’t like working at all, so he decided to help pull just one more Furby to “The Green” and then go to sleep for a while. The last Furby he grabbed was a red colored Furby with damage to it’s face. This was Jerkface.
After a couple of years later a group known as the Elders decided to take turns leading the tribe which worked out for a while, but the Furby’s only wanted one particular Furby to lead them, and that was Icedawg. He didn’t know why he was popular, or even why they would want him as their leader but he stepped up to the job at hand, by napping away the first full term of his Presidency.
His close personal friend Jacqie, who happened to be the second Furby that Icedawg had ever brought to “The Green” stood in for him for his first term and led a rally against the dissenting Jerkface to get Icedawg reelected by a landslide of 25 thousand to 1, and there was only 25001 Furbies. Icedawg woke up sporadically and made cool rules, but every year Jerkface hated him more and more and now he was in the Trees lost and trying to eat a pinecone. It didn’t work.
A group of travelling squirrels pelted him with acorns and insults like, ”Hey stinky” or “you stinky face” or “you stinky toes”, or you get the picture. But they all disappeared and the entire woods went silent as small tremors in the ground sent shivers down Icedawg’s spine, at least it would’ve if he had one. He had heard tales of what those led to, and it wasn’t pleasant.
Chapter Three: Jeffrey.
Icedawg turned around to the see the wild eyes of the Huge Hairy Furby staring down at him.
“Hi.” Icedawg said very afraid. “Didn’t mean to come in here at all I am just a little lost. Do you think you could help-“
Before Icedawg could finish talking the Huge Hairy Furby, really just a normal sized black bear, picked him up by the paws and started to nibble on Icedawgs ear. Although Icedawg couldn’t feel any pain it was still an unreal stimulation to it is battery box and electrical system.
The bear wasn’t nearly as violent as the surviving Furbys that had returned from some fools errand into the Trees had described he was… no, he was far worse. The bear would toss Icedawg far into the woods, then after the earthquakes stopped it was there again to mercilessly chew and throw him further into the woods. This was not a fun experience at all.
“Hey that hurts, I think! Could you maybe stop it?” Icedawg would complain but it seemed like he heard the bear laughing at him as it continued to chew and throw him throughout the Trees.
Eventually as the sun was coming up the bear grabbed a hold of Icedawg in its teeth, walked over to the edge of the Trees in some far off place beyond the knowledge of Furby travelers, plopped down, and fell asleep. Icedawg was covered in bear slobber, and stinky bear breath, which he couldn’t register anyway, but altogether he didn’t like it.
Icedawg wasn’t hurt per say but he definitely wasn’t in his prime either with small tears along his pink fur. He sat there and contemplated if this was the end of his existence and if it was had he accomplished everything that he had ever wanted to. The answer to most of his questions was a resounding yes, except one… he never truly felt loved. And if this bear chewing on him was the love the Green Priests were talking about he would like to be left out of all that thank you very much.
The bear shifted over onto its back and Icedawg fell to the ground finally released from his teethy jail. He lifted a small victorious shout, and walked as fast as his little legs could take him right out of the Trees and into a clearing with a long white picked fence and the sound of crying.
It was loud and not distorted like the cries of Furby’s from their sound-bite generators, but this was crystal clear and close by. Icedawg walked in between two of the posts to see something he had needed to see all of his life, but just didn’t know it. The face of a creator.
Chapter Four: Sidney.
“Are you okay?” Icedawg called out in an otherwise non-threatening tone. “You sound sad.”
“Who’s there?” The young girl asked as she stood up, wiping the tears from her face, and looked around. “Where are you?”
“Sorry, I am over by the fence.” Icedawg said as he walking slowly forward. “Are you okay?”
“What are you?” The young girl asked clearly seeing Icedawg coming her way.
“Well the Green Priests think we are tools of love, whatever that might be to our creators, but I think we are just nap takers.” Icedawg thought philosophically. “My name is Icedawg what is yours.”
“I am Sidney.” She said.
“And if I might ask, what are you?” Icedawg asked
“I am a girl.” Sidney said.
“A girl? Are there more like you beyond the Trees?” Icedawg asked.
“There is a whole lot of girls in the world. Have you never met a girl before?” Sidney asked.
“No, I don’t think so, but I am glad that I did, and I am glad that you have stopped crying. Why are you crying by the way?” Icedawg asked.
“I lost my favorite toy, Mrs. Spotts, and I can’t find her.” Sidney said.
“Well I am pretty good at finding things, can I help you find this “Toy”?” Icedawg asked.
“Sure, and thank you.” Sidney said as the two of them walked all over her property, talking and laughing, trying to find her lost toy.
Although they didn’t find Mrs. Spotts Sidney wasn’t sad about it anymore and Icedawg felt like he had a purpose for his life for the very first time. He liked being around this “Girl”, and deep inside he felt like an empty piece of himself was being filled. More than eating batteries, or drinking green water. Maybe this was what love was, and if it was he would like that very much.
Chapter Five: Trouble.
Day after day Sidney would play with Icedawg everywhere. He learned all about being a toy, what it meant to be her toy, and how to make her smile. She would show him all the secret hiding places in the house, and all the wonderful places on the property. A week passed and the two were inseparable.
They were playing hide and go seek as it was starting to rain near the white picket fence and the Trees. Sidney was clearly hiding on the other side of the playhouse, but Icedawg wasn’t going to end the fun this soon so he took his time looking behind every post of the fence acting surprised every time he didn’t find her. Behind one he truly was surprised to find something he had totally forgotten about.
A very familiar, but terribly roughed up looking Furby was resting against one of the posts. She looked up at Icedawg with widening eyes, and a sweeping hope being restored across her face. She tried to stand but slowly fell over releasing just one word before she hit the ground – “President”.
Icedawg quickly got Sidney and brought her to the unconscious Furby. Sidney was confused and sad at how this Furby’s looked.
“What happened to this poor Furby?” Sidney asked genuinely concerned for it’s well being.
“I really don’t know mommy, but I know that she needs to eat some batteries right now.” Icedawg said.
Sidney quickly picked up the Furby’s, and ran to the house. She grabbed some batteries out of a drawer in the kitchen and fed them to the injured Furby, took a cloth to clean her, and further took a needle with some string to stitch her fur back together. After an hour she finally woke up.
“President- WHAT IS THAT?” The Furby shouted at Icedawg looking at Sidney.
“This is what is called a girl and she is what the Green Priests call our creators, although she clearly didn’t create us.” Icedawg replied. “But what happened to you Jacqie? Did you meet the Huge Hairy Furby?”
“Hi-“ Jacqie said sheepishly to Sidney. “I didn’t see it on the way here, no. Lots of annoying squirrels and fat birds but not the Huge Hairy Furby.”
“Then what happened to you?” Icedawg asked.
Chapter Six: Control
“I was exiled from Dump Town for calling it Dump Town, instead of calling it JERKTOWN.” Jacqie said sadly.
“But why are you so beat up?” Icedawg asked.
“Because I refused to leave and Jerkface, and his army beat me up until I couldn’t refuse anymore.” Jacqie replied. “I wandered around the Trees for a few days until I found the white fence and fell asleep. I was running out of battery and was almost completely out when you found me. But now there is hope!”
“Hope for what?” Icedawg asked.
“For you to return and take back your town.” Jacqie said with a new light in her eyes. “Most of the town is still loyal to you but allows Jerkface to do what he does because they are all afraid of him. And he is exiling more Furbies everyday, so we have to do something.”
“I wish I could, but I have a home here, with my mommy.” Icedawg said looking up at the little girl who had become his best friend. “And I can’t just leave her alone to go back and probably get beaten up.”
“You won’t leave me alone Icedawg, because I’m going with you.” Sidney said.
“We could use a “Girl” especially with her size.” Jacqie said.
“I don’t want you to get hurt mommy.” Icedawg said.
“Don’t worry about me Icedawg I can protect myself.” Sidney said as she disappeared out of the room and returned with a slingshot, and a gulf club. “I am really good with these.”
“But there is no telling if we can even find our way back to Dump Town.” Icedawg said.
“The old dump is half a mile to the south of here through the woods.” Sidney said. “My dad took me close to there two years ago, but there was just a bunch of snakes so we didn’t stay long.”
“The snake revolt, yes I was told that happened. Alright, well if you think there’s a chance we can save Dump Town from Jerkface then I think we need to take it.” Icedawg said. “But you have to promise me that neither of you will get hurt.”
The girls looked at each other and nodded their heads before saying, “We promise not to get hurt.”
Chapter Seven: Jerk Town
The three of them walked through the woods for a half hour of time before coming to a clearing where a long log wall had been built around the town with the words “JERK TOWN” carved into it. A gathering was taking place on the highest hill where the whole town had come out to see Jerkface on a stage with twenty other Furbies tied up.
Sidney placed Jacqie and Icedawg over the wall near the edge of the hill hidden behind a bush before she took a good position with her slingshot near the woods. The two Furby’s climbed the hill stealthily before blending into the crowd to hear what Jerkface had to say.
“We have had many successes since Icedawg left on his own into the Trees like the lazy, PINK, weakling he was, and we are all better for it.” Jerkface said as the crowd murmured angrily. “We have had some set-backs. Do you see these twenty-one Furbies here? There are the Elders of the tribe and each one of them want me to step down. Each one of them LIE and say that I exiled Icedawg. Well I did, so boo-hoo, and I was about to exile all of them, but I had a different idea. I am going to exile them, not just from the village, but also from existence. I am going to set fire to them right now on this stage, and to everyone I see fit from now on! Guards set these miserable old Furbies on fire-“
“BOO!” A yell came out from the back of the crowd and all the Furbies separated to look at the one shouting.
“ICEDAWG?” Jerkface yelled as he stared down at the one that he hated the most. “What are you doing here?”
“I came to stop you Jerkface. You have turned our peaceful town into a crazy angry place. And now you want to end the existences of Furbies? That’s just mean bro, and I will not allow it.” Icedawg said as he walked forward completely afraid for his life with Jaqcie by his side.
“BE QUIET YOU PINK WEAK STINKYFACE!” Jerkface yelled as he jumped off of the stage and his army surrounded him. “NO! Let me take care of this PINK Furby once and for all. The rest of you set fire to this crowd! They are all exiled from existence!”
“Do you hear this crazy talk my dear Furby’s?” Jacqie yelled. “Will you let him set you all on fire?”
The Furby’s in the crowd, although afraid, didn’t really want to die so they all decided to rush the army. A fight spread out all over the hilltop and random Jerk Face soldiers were being knocked off by Sidneys expert slingshot abilities. Jacqie was taking the fight straight into the heart of the army with a stolen spear, and Icedawg was, well, he was getting beat up pretty bad.
Chapter Eight: Fight
Icedawg was never what anyone would consider a fighter, and today it was incredibly apparent. Jerkface was almost incessantly planting his little metal covered fists into Icedawgs face before he got a great idea. Icedawg ran away as fast as he could, which infuriated Jerkface.
“You can’t escape me now you PINK!!!” Jerkface said as he ran after the much quicker Icedawg. “See that wall? It’s made to keep people out, and in. You’ll have to fight me eventually.”
“Let’s see how brave you really are Jerkface outside of your wall.” Icedawg muttered under his breath as he closed in on the wall of the city, climbed a nearby house, and vaulting over the top.
Completely shocked by what he witnessed Jerkface screamed in anger as he too climbed to the top of the house and jumped over the wall. He landed on his hard on his feet and twisted his ankles but continued to limp forward as quick as he could into the Trees to find Icedawg.
Icedawg wasn’t hiding and was standing in a clear opening waiting for Jerkface to show up.
“Why do you hate me so much Jerkface? All I ever did was bring you to The Green and you treat me like this? Why?” Icedawg asked.
“BECAUSE YOU’RE PINK! Every time I see that color I just want to fight you, and when I hear your weak voice I want to mash your face in! I WILL rid the whole town of all it’s weakness! I will end all the PINKNESS until it’s just me!!!”
“Then you have to be stopped.” Icedawg said.
“Who’s going to stop me? You? HA! Don’t make me laugh, cause I don’t like it.” Jerkface replied.
“No, but he will.” Icedawg said as a black bear appeared through the darkness of the woods with its eyes on Jerkface.
“The Huge Hairy Furby?” Jerkface said falling onto his back in fear as the bear approached. “It thought that was just a legend made up by PINK Furbies.
“Nope, and actually his name is Jefferey.” Icedawg said and the bear ripped Jerkfaces face off revealing that his circuits had been damaged for sometime.
Jerkface was torn into tiny pieces and Jefferey looked at Icedawg with a fondness that true friends share, before he picked up the remains of the Furby in his mouth and walked back into the woods.
Chapter Nine: Aftermath
Icedawg walked back to the town to find that the fight was well over and that the army was defeated. Turns out that 90 percent of them didn’t even like Jerkface but they all had “The Right Color?” and were forced to be apart of it or be exiled. All of which thought he was straight-cray cray.
Sidney rushed over to grab Icedawg. There was something wrong because she looked really sad. They climbed to the hill top and a circle of Furbies was surrounding a really badly damaged Furby. It was Jacqie.
“Jacqie!” Icedawg gasped. “What happened Sidney.”
“I tried to protect her but she was surrounded and I couldn’t help that much from the trees so I bolted up here with my gulf club and swept the rest of the bad guys away from her. But it was too late.”
“Can she be healed?” Icedawg asked the Green Priests and the Doctors.
They said nothing, but their response was deafening. Sidney slammed her knees into the ground sobbing, as Icedawg fell forward near his dear friend.
“Sidney.” Jacqie said.
“Yes, honey. I am right here.” She said.
“I wish I could’ve been your toy.” Jacqie said as she died.
“You have been my toy since the moment I saw you.” Sidney said crying giant tears and holding the shattered remains of Jacqie in her hands.
Throughout that day they gathered their deceased and piled them into The Green, which was their custom. Jacqie’s passing was mourned by the whole town and a memorial of her was placed on the highest hill to remind them to never loose themselves to madness again.
The next few days were about getting rid of the wall, and trying to reinstate Icedawg as the President of Dump Town, which he refused. He told them all about this thing he calls love and that he found it just being around the girl Sidney. The Green Priests backed up his story with their assessments and made him an honorary Priest, which he half-heartedly accepted.
Icedawg personally chose the next President of the town and it happened to be the very first Furby he had brought to the green, the Elder Christopher—who was also neon pink. The Town was restored and the Furbies started to feel at home again, but still just as lonely.
Chapter Ten: Parents
Sidney is sitting at her kitchen table eating breakfast with her favorite toy Icedawg. Her mom, Laura, has a basket of clothes in her hand and walks over to place it into her room. She opens the door and just as quickly closes it. In a shock she actually drops the basket and runs to grab her husband, Randle.
Randle doesn’t fully understand why he was pulled out of his den surrounded by work, but he respects his wife enough to know that this must be pretty serious. They reach their daughters room and she motions for him to enter. He opens the door, and just as quickly closes it. Both of them look at eachother with confusion.
They walk quickly to see their daughter quietly eating her eggs, and pancakes. They move to either side of her and sit into some chairs. She notices them but also the confused looks on their faces. Something is wrong.
“What’s going on?” Sidney asked her mother.
“Well I was taking some clothes to your room and, well, what happened?”
“What do you mean?” Sidney asked.
“What she means to say is how did you get all those Furbies in your room?” Randle asked.
“Yeah. I mean there must have been at least twenty thousand of them.” Laura answered.
“Yeah, I tried to get them all to come but not all of them wanted to leave their home so I took as many as I could with me.”
“From where? Like a store?” Laura asked angrily.
“From the dump.”
“Oh.” The parents said in unison. “Well, okay.”
“Okay.” Sidney said and her parents returned to their daily lives a lot more confused, but she and Icedawg laughed about it the rest of the day.